hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
