Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
