do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
