yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
