My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
