I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
