She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
