I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
