Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
