he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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