You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
