She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
