it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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