it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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