the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
