no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
