You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
