O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
