just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
