if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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