what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
