no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
did you just send me my own nude
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
