She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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