i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you made out with another girl for some wings
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
