She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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