you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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