She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
