It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
