My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
