This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
