I skipped work to stalk him.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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