if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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