seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
