Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hello my rib-scented angel!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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