Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
