I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
