ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
