I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
