Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
