I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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