drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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