It's like God shit irony all over that family
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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