Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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