Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
