we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
