its not stalking. its research.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
