Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
