i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
