but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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