I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
