im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I believe in your delicious
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
