You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
