youre lurking in front of me
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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